Feelings and why I don’t have them!

The other day I was told not to use my blog to express my “feelings”.  First of all, I am a guy and I don’t have feelings.  If I did have feelings, I would be a woman.  I would cry at sad movies and care about what I was wearing that day.  I merely have opinions based on how I have perceived the facts of a particular situation and the observations I have made over the course of my meager existence.  My whole attitude and philosophy of life can be attributed to the movies I have watched, books I have read, and songs I have listened to.  These influences are mostly comical in nature and lean heavily towards the sarcastic side of the humor scale.  I also like science fiction so you can throw in a bit of the nerd factor as well.

 When I enjoy your company, I enjoy throwing some sarcastic comments your way in a ritualistic way of bonding with you.  Over the years, I have scaled back my sarcastic humor with small children in an effort not to scare them.  Now, if I have know these small children (and these small children are now pre-teens or teenagers) for a number of years, I’ll raise their level of humor awareness by giving them a small taste of sarcastic humor.  In this manner, I am preparing them for real life in small baby steps.

 Since I don’t have feelings to express, I must rely on my wit and humor to get me through life.  Remember the old saying “When life gives you lemons; make lemonade!”  Of course, that saying forgets that you also need water and sugar to make the lemonade.  If someone squeezed the lemons, all they would get would be lemon juice.  Yuck!   Who wants to drink that?  Now, by adding water and some sugar you can create a refreshing drink.  Add some vodka and you might have a party.  When I have a bad situation, I can roll over and die or I can use my humor to change that situation into a light hearted funny situation.  Is that so wrong?  Am I wrong for trying to uplift people and make the best of a bad situation?

 Now if I did have feelings, is it wrong for me to express them?  I don’t have feelings so it should be perfectly fine for me to write about my observations and my thoughts.  I’m not talking about my feelings because I don’t have feelings.  I don’t feel anything.  I talk about what I have seen and what I am thinking.

 I’ll continue to post my insightful observations and my thoughts so everyone can enjoy them as much as I do.  It is my gift to all three of my dear blog readers!